Sad Day.

When we were leaving a particularly fun play date this morning, Tyler was pitching a very typical "I don't want to leave" 2 year old fit. As we reached the car, he stopped screaming and crying long enough to say "I sad! don't want to leave! I sad!" Broke my heart. He's told us for a while when he's happy, but today was the first time I heard him articulate sadness.


We've know for a while that Tyler was having difficulty perceiving depth perception as accurately as he did before his last shunt revision. We have been hoping that it would get back to where it was before so he could continue making his vision stronger. That just hasn't been the case. We called for his vision consultant to come out today with his therapist to hear her opinion. She noticed a marked difference for the worse in his abilities to converge his eyes, a head tilt is back, using touch to find exactly where things are, and an eye turn she hasn't seen this bad in about an year. And as much as I know that this would be confirmed, I still find myself a little sadden by it. I think I was hoping it wasn't as bad as I feared.

She did how ever say she doesn't believe its a cognitive issue. Yeah! Tyler is still making strong strides in all of his development that doesn't have a strong tie to a visual Que. And we see him trying to do what we are asking him, it just seems very hard for him and he stops after a few attempts.

We don't have any answers as to why. I know after all the things he's been through this year a few issues with vision is really not so bad in the grand scheme of things. Maybe tomorrow I can embrace that thought, but for now I am not able to. So, I wait by the phone for neurosurg to call and see what they advise. And life is kinda on hold for a short time until I can figure out a plan for who wants to see him and when.